Note: After a sudden, unexpected illness, Chris Coffey passed away on June 16, 2022. R.I.P. my friend and mentor.
To put it mildly, Chris Coffey has had an unusual career path. As one of the, as he calls it, “lost souls of the late 1960s,” he managed to avoid Vietnam combat. However, he did spend two years on active duty in the Navy after graduating from college.
After the Navy, his next venture was law school. However, it didn’t take long for Chris to realize law school wasn’t for him. He dropped out and spent the next couple of years as a ski bum.
Turning 26, Chris decided he needed to get on with a career. He enrolled in law school a second time. Once again, he found law not to his liking. After meeting an actress in California, he decided Hollywood looked like a good career path and dropped out of law school for the second and final time.
Chris moved to NYC and over the next several years did film work. He had some great experiences. Not attaining Duvall or De Niro status, however, Chris became open to other career options.
A coincidental meeting at a family wedding led to his working for the legendary Paul Hersey, pioneer of Situational Leadership. Chris is quick to note that Hersey didn’t hire him based on Chris having anything substantive to contribute. Rather, when Chris asked Paul “why did you hire me?” Hersey said, “I need someone who is smart, can learn quickly, deliver the material, and inspire people, I think you can do that!”
From Hersey, the path led to Marshall Goldsmith and Frank Wagner. After a long stint of stand-up leadership development training, Marshall, Frank and Chris created Stakeholder Centered Coaching.
Chris freely admits his career has nothing in common with a grand strategy or master plan. He ascribes it to “happenstance, luck, hard work, great mentors, and loving what you do.”
Coaching the Jerk
Chris’s breakthrough as a coach occurred after he got a gig to coach a senior partner at a top 100 law firm. This lawyer was very successful and also considered extremely difficult to work with and could be quite abusive.
Chris’s success with that engagement led to him being referred to another similar situation. An EVP of Sales was about to be fired for having created, as HR put it, “a hostile work environment.” However, the company’s outside attorney mentioned how Chris had successfully coached a individual with similar behaviors at the law firm. “Do you want to have this coach give you a call?”, he asked.
The HR executive said “yes.” She hired Chris and told the EVP, “This engagement must be successful if you want to keep your job. The CEO has agreed to give this a try.”
The first meeting between Chris and the EVP went like this. The EVP said, “I don’t like you and I don’t want to do this, but I’ve been told I must, so we will meet off-campus, and no one must know about my being coached. Am I clear?”
Essentially the EVP was trying to dominate Chris and the coaching process. Those of us who know Chris know such domination is no easy feat.
Chris responded, “Thanks for your candor. I appreciate it. Now let me be candid. I don’t get paid until the end of the engagement and only if there is measurable and documented improvement as seen by key colleagues including peers, direct reports, and of course the CEO you report to. So you will need to tell these individuals the specific leadership and management behaviors you commit to improve and share with them a specific action plan to accomplish them. And then you must follow up with them on a regular basis.
“If you will not commit to this, that’s fine, I walk away now. What do you want to do?”
Knowing he could very possibly lose his job if Chris walked away, the EVP acquiesced.
Things were still rocky until about two and a half months later. The EVP called Chris and said, “I’ve had an epiphany.” He described a long-time problematic relationship with his adult son. Every conversation they had inevitably degenerated into the two men jawing at each other and walking away angry.
The EVP told Chris that in the midst of another conversation starting to go awry, the EVP recalled a behavior in his action plan: “Listen to different points of view with an open mind, before giving yours, and don’t interrupt.”
He caught himself interrupting and apologized to his son, “I’m sorry, I just interrupted you. Please continue.”
His son was flabbergasted. He’d never witnessed this behavior before.
The EVP told his son about the coaching engagement. Later in the conversation, the EVP again caught himself interrupting and apologized again. Afterward, the EVP said to Chris, “That was the first truly constructive conversation I’ve had with my son in 15 years. We still did not agree on much, but it was constructive and civil. It’s a start.”
The EVP was now hooked on the coaching process. He and Chris became friends. Several years later, when the man passed away, Chris attended the memorial service. He went up to the person who was orchestrating the service and said, “I’m not a family member but if there’s an opportunity, I’d like to say a few words.”
The man was non-committal but said he’d check with the family. He soon came back and said, “His widow said her husband talked about you all the time and how you impacted his life. She wants you to speak first.”
Failing efficiently
Although Chris has been enormously successful as a leadership/management coach, he’s not afraid to admit failure. Early in his coaching career, he was tasked with coaching a hot shot engineer. Despite being warned by HR – “it’s not possible for this person to change” – Chris plowed ahead.
At the end of the engagement, the Mini Survey showed a meager 0.3 improvement, well below what is necessary for Chris to be paid. The company nevertheless expressed appreciation for the efforts Chris made and offered to pay him nonetheless. Chris refused. A deal is a deal.
From this experience, Chris learned an important lesson: Don’t take a bad coaching engagement. And if you take an engagement that turns bad, confront the problem promptly and be prepared to walk away.
Chris is fond of saying that this unsuccessful engagement was the result one key reason: Ego. Not the person Chris was coaching; Chris’s ego. He harbored the false belief you can get a successful adult to change when that adult doesn’t want to. Key point: if they’re not committed, don’t take the engagement.
Going forward
Chris is optimistic about the coaching profession in general and SCC coaching in particular. He encourages SCC coaches to build their books of business. “Proactively use the Goldsmith brand, including the fact that Global Gurus ranks it the #1 coach development process in the world.
He encourages SCC coaches to tap into their networks. “Ask them to find out if their employers use outside coaches. If so, ask them to make an introduction for you.”
Chris notes that the executive coaching field is highly competitive. If you want business, it’s necessary to develop a strong, succinct statement of what you bring to a coaching engagement that’s unique to you. “What makes you stand out? Why you as coach?” Keep your value proposition at the ready and enjoy the journey.